One way that humans suffer on an almost continuous basis is by trying to avoid unpleasant emotions. Let me tell you something: if you’re angry, you’re angry and you’re just going to have to deal with it. When you pretend not to be, and lie to yourself to convince yourself that you’re not angry, you simply become passive-aggressive, and this personality flaw stays with you, allowing your anger to fester and poison your mind.
It takes a lot of mental energy to repress one’s emotions, as it means that one must maintain a constant state of denial, lying to oneself on a continual basis, never letting the emotion that one denies shine through and find expression. This is foolishness. Don’t deny the fact that you’re angry, or sad, or afraid. It doesn’t work and you’re just going to accumulate emotional problems.
I’d like to have a word on a misconception about fear and the virtue courage, as I think that clearing up inaccurate ideas people have about them is an important thing to do. Courage is a virtue that means doing what one needs or wants to do despite the fact that one is afraid. It does not mean not being afraid. In dangerous or unusual or unfamiliar situations, most people get afraid. It’s part of being a human being. However, denying that this fear exists or trying to control the emotion itself is futile. One can only determine how one responds to it with their thoughts and actions. This is what is possible, and once one knows this, one can be genuinely courageous.
If, on the other hand, one chooses the path of denial and repression, the fear will influence your actions on a subconscious level, where you do not have a say in how it is reacted to. Denying that one is afraid is denying suffering, and I think I have demonstrated in my previous articles that suffering will not be denied. Suffering the fear for a moment is better than suffering it for a lifetime, and not repressing it frees up a lot of mental energy which will expand your sense of self-awareness and allow you to know yourself better.
Repressed love and sexual emotions are another beast, as there is plenty here that gets repressed by almost everyone. Sexual repression is particularly poisonous, because sex and death are linked in the mind; its just a curious fact that one can discover for oneself if one looks at their sexual self honestly. Repressing sexual feelings results in death obsession, unfortunately. I, personally, am guilty of this, I will admit, although I’m working on it. One may look inside oneself after opening up to their sexuality and find that they are attracted to the same sex, or have desires that could be unacceptable to social norms or even criminal. However, once again, if you deny these emotions, they are brought into the subconscious mind where they influence you without any say on your part, working to express themselves through stealth, and showing themselves in destructive and unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.
So don’t repress your emotions. Don’t let them determine your behavior all the time, but don’t keep them buried in the graveyard of your soul. It doesn’t help you or anyone who has to deal with the obnoxious behavior caused by doing this.
